Monday, May 31, 2004
Sweet, I managed to get access to a computer while in Arizona. I had intended to leave to drive back to Utah today but ended up promising the kids I'd play with them today and stayed here. Last night, my aunt was bragging to my uncle about how when I get married and have children I'll be good because I'm good with kids. I thought that, though domestic, that's cool.
Their 3-yr old, Rebecca, is a doll. I played with her a lot last night and today. This morning we were sword fighting. She had a hard plastic toy sword and I had a clothes hangar. We had a good time and neither of us died though I sustained minor sores on the hand when she got good shots on me.
I went to church for the first time in 2 months today. My uncle's nephew on his side (I'm on my aunt's side of the family) is leaving on a mission (poor thing) and so I tagged along to church, listened to the poor sap speak and then I skipped class to talk to Jeremy and Vespere on the phone and then to rest on the couch.
I think we got most of the car stuff taken care of so that I'll be good to go in the morning. Hope like hell I don't get pulled over though since I'm not sure if the insurance part is figured out or not.
Saturday, May 29, 2004
Delays, delays, delays. At this very moment I had intended to be in a car on the way to the airport. Turns out however that my boss's dog went into siezures this morning and may not last the day. So when I needed to be leaving he was at the vet with the dog. I went into panic mode and started IMing all of my friends still in Provo to see if any of them could take me to the airport leaving within the next 30 minutes. Unfortunately, all of them already had plans or weren't even still in Provo. 30 minutes notice is pretty short though. So I called up Southwest and rescheduled my listing for the 6:20PM flight instead of the 2:55PM flight I had intended to take. It is wide open on seating so unless I can't find a ride again, I should be good to go this time.
I'll hopefully be leaving today to Arizona to pick up what is to become my car. I intend to be back late tomorrow night or on Monday so tune in then.
Thursday, May 27, 2004
Tony Pierce asked the world to do this quiz. Most of them didn't. I think Tony is cool so I will... well, except for the answers that I'm simply not knowledgeable enough about the current political spectrum to even attempt to answer.
1. which political party do you typically agree with? libertarian
2. which political party do you typically vote for? democrat
3. list the last five presidents that you voted for? N/A
4. which party do you think is smarter about the economy? democrat
5. which party do you think is smarter about domestic affairs? democrat
6. do you think we should keep our troops in Iraq or pull them out? should have been out a long time ago and still should
7. who, or what country, do you think is most responsible for 9/11? USA for shoving our imperialistic stick up everyone's asses and Al Qaeda for telling us to fuck off
8. do you think we will find weapons of mass destruction in iraq? We already did.... the time Bush flew there. He IS a weapon of mass destruction. Other than that, no.
9. yes or no, should the u.s. legalize marijuana? Yes
10. do you think the republicans stole the last presidental election? Yes
11. do you think bill clinton should have been impeached because of what he did with monica lewinski? Hell no.
12. do you think hillary clinton would make a good president? Yes
13. name a current democrat who would make a great president: Wish I knew
14. name a current republican who would make a great president: Wish I knew
15. do you think that women should have the right to have an abortion? Stick to the limits in Roe vs. Wade, but yes
16. what religion are you? Agnostic
17. have you read the Bible all the way through? yes.
18. what's your favorite book? Catch 22 by Joseph Heller
19. who is your favorite band? Currently, Pink Floyd
20. who do you think you'll vote for president in the next election? Kerry
21. what website did you see this on first? tonypierce.com + busblog
I'm worn thin. If I weren't so stubbornly resilient I almost think I'd go insane or at least snap on people. I've been working my ass off from 10:30-11:00AM to 8:00-9:00PM every day trying to finish this fucking project. My boss keeps dragging me away from my work so that I can help him on some little problem that he could easily solve himself. Yes, I can solve them faster than he can, but some of the things I am working on he couldn't solve at all no matter how hard he tried so he ought to take advantage of the few remaining days he'll have me and let me get the important stuff done. He still hasn't accepted that I'm not coming back and keeps saying we need to change this "we'll see" stuff and that I should just make the right decision to come back. I want to tell him to just fuck off but I still have a little dignity left in me.
Another evidence is my sleep patterns. I'm still not getting to bed any earlier than I had hoped to but I'm waking up early. I set the alarm for 9:30 and I wake up any time between 8:00 and 9:00 just about every day but am still quite tired. I even put one of those eye covers on in case it was the light. It isn't. I listen for sounds. None. Also, during the past week, my state of mind when I wake up has been unusual. Each day I wake up remembering bits of dreams and they are always ones that make no sense. They are weird but are not nightmares. I wake up in a state of complete confusion from the dream but it carries over and in the first moments after I awake my head is flooded with confusion and in an accelerated state of awareness (observation, faster heart beat, etc) I wonder just what the hell is going on.
It subsides after a while but during the day I'm still impatient, frustrated, and ready to snap. I'm ready for this era to end. I just want to get home and rest in every way. Physically, mentally, emotionally. Too bad I won't get to. I'll have a week at home before I fly off on another trip and during that week I hope to hang out with Bunny at least once, I hope to meet and hang out with Katzinjammer at least once, and there are others that will want my time too. Hopefully the drive home will give me some time of utter emptiness of the brain to flush this shit out.
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
I just went to the UGA application status page and it told me the decision had been made and I had the option of viewing online or waiting for the letter to arrive to open it with family. Nervous as all fucking hell, I tell that bitch I wanna see that shit. It opens...
ROCK THE FUCK ON!!!!!!!
I'm still shaking like a motherfucker....
 |
Congratulations on your admission to the University of Georgia! You may have already received your acceptance letter. Generally, it takes up to a week after we have made our decision for the full packet of acceptance materials to arrive by mail within the U.S. In your packet, make special note of any additional transcripts or other materials required to complete your admission. Also included in your acceptance packet is information about campus housing and the required health form.
We look forward to welcoming you to campus. |
You have no idea what a relief that is. I'm getting my ass to bed before I water up my eyes at 2 in the morning.
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
(21:15:30) Eve: i need your help
(21:15:43) Me: oh god
(21:15:43) Me: how
(21:15:50) Eve: summarize this: [clipped]
(21:16:14) Eve: just change around the words
...
(21:17:23) Me: why do you want to rearrange it?
(21:18:15) Eve: cuz i copied it 4rm this chick who copied it 4rm this guy who copied it from this girl who copied it 4rm a website
(21:18:51) Eve: whats another way to call some one a sell out
(21:19:26) Me: so you are plagiarizing
(21:19:49) Eve: so
(21:20:29) Me: if you got caught doing that in college you could be expelled
(21:20:51) Eve: i no
(21:21:03) Me: and you expect me to help you do that?
Not a fucking chance.
Monday, May 24, 2004
God, I hate it when that happens! I just got a call from someone saying that there is at least a temporary job opening that could turn permanent in a small company that he works for. He even said that it would be a disadvantage that I'll be leaving the area but it wouldn't kill my chances. He also started the phone call by mentioning that I was the first person he thought of and when he asked around for recommendations I was the first person everybody came up with. He regretted to tell me that the pay would only be about $15/hr... I'm making $9.75/hr right now, so $15 would have been damn nice, especially as a telecommuting job I could do during the summer. Unfortunately, they need someone quickly and due to my family vacation I won't have any availability until the beginning of July. Fuck.
Even some mormons have a sense of humour:
(23:18:10) Chris: after spring i am going home and am going to work untill the mission thing
(23:18:48) Me: ah, cool. Mission will cost you your first born child with what it costs. Oh well, at least mormons have lots of babies. You'll be able to spare one or two. ;)
(23:19:12) Chris: at least
(23:19:14) Chris: i hate kids
(23:19:15) Chris: lol
(23:19:33) Me: haha, so you can sell all of them into slavery to cover the expenses ;)
(23:20:11) Chris: heck yeah
(23:20:21) Chris: that's all kids are good for is free labor
(23:20:31) Chris: and food if you are into the whole cannibalism thing
Tonight I read Wilde's A Woman of No Importance. Interesting play with deeper psychological messages than Salomé had. The illegitimate son of a romantic garden encounter between two people has been offered a position as Lord Illingsworth's secretary and has made his mind to accept the position to the disdain of his mother. Meanwhile Illingsworth has made a bet that he can kiss the puritanical american girl. Drama later, we find the son to be the child of the shamed mother of the garden encounter and Illingsworth to be the father. Of course the son gets the american and they live happily ever after. Wilde's piercing wit dominates as always.
Also, added a link to my friend Nicole, so give her a little patronage if you've got the time. She's answered a great number of pestering questions for me as I have them and so soothed some of my worries.
Sunday, May 23, 2004
Yesterday I had desired to go outside and do something but unfortunately periodic sprinklings of rain made that slightly less desirable. Instead I stayed inside and read the english translation of Salomé by Oscar Wilde. It is basically a theatrical version of the John the Baptist story. Wilde added a few twists of his own but the basic storyline was that of the biblical account. A simple story that many people know, but in the play, Jokanaan (John) and Herod Antipas seem a bit looney. Given the footnotes in the text, I could see quite easily how the play can be performed on a stage. No matter what anyone says about Wilde's sexuality or morals, it is my opinion that he was an excellent playwright.
Following the completion of that reading, I left the house for a bit of less intellectually stimulating entertainment and saw the film "50 First Dates" at the dollar theatre. Adam Sandler was amusing in his typical manner and it was a cute film, though not the best I've seen. I liked it well enough though.
When I returned home, I watched "The Last Samurai" on DVD and found it to be a visually stunning film. On our upcoming family vacation, we will spend 2 days in Japan but I fear I cannot even hope to see the beautiful scenery that the movie portrayed. Then, in stark contrast, I read a number of pages in the Bukowski reader before finally choosing to sleep. In the film, a way of life is portrayed in which bushido (similar to western chivalry) is practiced amongst the people and honour is important to them. Bukowski's world is dank, dirty, and unforgiving. Perhaps the real world is more similar to Bukowski's interpretation. I don't know yet. I guess I will soon see as I am immersed into it. Bunny tells me that it is hard to understand Bukowski until you have lived it, but I don't know that I want to live that kind of a lifestyle. I still believe in honour, compassion, and respect.
Perhaps there is some beauty yet unseen to me in the world of Bukowski. That's the beauty in life. There is beauty in so many places if we are but open to see it. So much awaits no matter which way I turn. No matter what predictions we make in life, things always turn out differently. That's why life is a grand adventure. I'm ready; let's go.
Saturday, May 22, 2004
Today a well-spoken, 44 year old man named Bobby from Glascow, Scotland IMed me saying that I was on his buddy list and he didn't know who I am. I had no idea how someone like that would magically have me on their buddy list. I tried asking him about several different ways I could have known him. I knew that Ally had visited England recently but it was apparently not through her. I asked him if he had ever been mormon, if he read blogs, if he ran linux, etc. In the end the conclusion he came to is that he must have gotten my name from the Exmormon Yahoo Group because he had stopped in there to learn about that position. I've never mentioned my screenname in there to my knowledge though. Oh well, random things like that make life so much more interesting.
Friday, May 21, 2004
This Iraqi torture thing is heart-rending. I sit here in utter amazement after having read articles like this. And for those of you who haven't seen them, take a look at these pictures. Be sure to view both galleries. The other can be found by clicking "More Photo Galleries" and then "Previous Prison Abuse".
Are they really any better off than when Saddam was there? I mean it's not like we shoot up innocent civilians, leave people in suffering to die, blow up wedding parties, rape the people, and then take pictures to brag about it ... oh no, that's right ... that IS what the Americans are doing in Iraq.
It's also pretty sad that when I try to show people these pictures, many of them refuse to look at them, but they were willing to watch the Nick Berg video to see how "evil" the Arabs are. Look at yourself America. You fucked up big time.
Sometimes I am simply way too observant. I just returned from the bathroom. Upon exiting, I burst into laughter. Had anyone been around they would have rightly wondered what the hell I found so amusing. I was simply laughing at the continuing support for my hypothesis. I don't know if it is the case for women, but for men, it appears that if he enters a stall in an empty bathroom to defecate and then someone enters before he is finished he will wait patiently in the stall until the other person has either seated himself in another stall for the same purpose or until the bathroom is once again vacated. Apparently he doesn't want to be seen by others after having committed a completely natural act which happens to have negative connotations. I walked into the bathroom and could hear a man in a stall pulling the toilet paper, obviously about ready to leave. A few more tugs at the roll and then patient silence until I left. I was tempted to listen just as I exited the door for the flush and open of the stall but instead I walked into the hall and burst into laughter.
Thursday, May 20, 2004
From Informed Comment:
So the looney tunes Christians who are trying to kill and dispossess the poor Palestinians to drag Jesus back may as well just give it up. He wasn't treated well enough by humankind the first time to want to come back, so we're on our own, and we may as well stop being barbaric to one another in his name.
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
On the telephone just now, my mother expressed her concern about whether I should drive home before or after the family vacation. She said that if I got in a wreck or something it would mess up their trip. I told her no, that it would just mess up my trip. She said that if I died they wouldn't go on the trip. I said "I don't plan to die" to which she responded "Nobody plans to die."
Today was a good day thanks to Bunny
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
I tried to go grocery shopping today. As I approached the store from a distance of about 20 feet, the lights in the store dimmed and I saw a policeman inside. I got a little closer thinking I'd check the store hours to make sure that it really closes at midnight instead of 11PM as it was at the time. As I got closer, I saw another cop in the doorway and he looked like he was swiping the door for prints. I decided not to continue to the store to see what was going on just so that I wouldn't get involved. Well, and I didn't want them finding the knife on me and getting me on other charges. God damn mormon terrorists.
Monday, May 17, 2004
I was talking to my sister on the telephone on the way home from work and she was practicing her gaelic between sentences of speaking to me. I burst out laughing at one of the things she said. She told me that it is the phrase you use to reply when someone says hello to you, but that she doesn't know exactly what it means. The reason I laughed is because it sounded like she told me "You're a bitch" with a new york accent (Y sound -> J sound)
It's a right shame most marriages don't last. I went to the wedding reception of my friends Ross and Jane this morning. As much as I have in the past railed about how in a modern society marriage is almost an unnecessary ritual, the wedding time is nice. Being able to have all that family in town and throw a party where everyone's attention is on you and you just get to spend time with one you love can't make too many people feel bad. Toward the end of the reception there was a slideshow of pictures of the bride and groom in their younger years and then a dance afterwards. To watch the emotion in their eyes as they watched the slideshow and then to see them dancing...it was enviable. I have always imagined that even if I were in a relationship I would feel anxiety and inhibitions around the other person. Some thoughts and experiences lately have caused me at least to cast a little doubt on whether that is the case or not. I just have to be with the right person. To see them dancing and just looking into each other's eyes with no worries in the world....love...such a strange phenomenon.
Oh well, all but the most miserable, which seems to be a growing majority, will at least once in their lifetime experience a bliss like romantic love. I hope to one day count myself among the lucky few that partake of it. I'm in no hurry and have no plans to rush toward it like the rest of this state. When I'm with the right person the stars will align in our eyes and we will know. In this world I can only hope that we will continue to know as the months and years pass by.
Until then and hopefully even after, the adventure goes on.
Sunday, May 16, 2004
If anyone is curious, I'll show what I've been working on at work. Here is a screenshot of the latest incarnation of the CGCreate program that I have been basically rewriting from scratch. It is all web based with a combination of PHP for the database access, and way too much JavaScript. The changes made to settings do actually apply to the image when you make changes. The menu at the top of the page does function. And, you can move the Image, Properties, and Option Groups boxes around like windows. The whole thing is autogenerated based on the database contents. It is a system for setting up new stationeries for pages like this one. Major pain in the ass to write, but way better than the old piece of shit they had.
My intentions for tonight failed me. I phoned Cabbage Rabbit earlier this evening with the intention of discussing how we might hang out to spend time which both of us had free. I talked to her for a few short moments on the telephone, but I think she gets bad reception in her apartment because both times I have spoken with her on the telephone, while she was there, she was difficult to hear. She told me to call her later if I wanted to hang out. A little confused, and knowing that my social ineptitudes had once again trodden over me, I chose not to call back because, quite frankly, I would have had no different words to use than on the first call.
Instead, I pulled out my books and ended up reading Wilde's "An Ideal Husband." The plot was fairly simple, but I found the character of Lord Goring to be of interest. It was fun to see how he would behave around his conservative father and other members of London society who carried so many pretensions with them. His social manipulation skills were superb but he only used them in manners which helped his friends. The drama through which Lord and Lady Chiltern went through is heartwarming at the end as they go from civilized, duty bound, and formal members of society to being able to talk to each other more intimately and share a personal love rather than an idealized conception.
Now I will grab a bite to eat, read a page or two of Bukowski, and then retire for the night. Adieu.
Saturday, May 15, 2004
Speaking of reading, I forgot to mention that I finished reading Catch-22 a couple days ago. I had no idea what to expect going into the book other than knowing that it is classic. Now that I have finished it I understand why. Those of you who have read it know what I am talking about and for those that have not, it is a story of a bombardier during WWII and it alternates between serious scenes and scenes with complete comedic effect while all the while using rich vocabulary and engrossing images. The absurdity of many of the situations gives it rest in your brain and makes the reading of it unforgettable. I highly recommend it to anyone.
Now to see what I should read next. Most of my books are still buried in boxes awaiting my journey home, but I kept out a few to read during my stay here. Here is a list of what I still have out and unread to pick from:
- Run with the hunted - Charles Bukowski
- The Importance of Being Earnest and Other Plays - Oscar Wilde
- Le petit Nicolas - Sempé-Goscinny
- La nausée - Jean Paul Sartre
Now given, those last two will not be easy reading and will require constant (that is to say every other word or more) reference to the dictionary which I have as well. I think I will probably get back to reading Bukowski, as it carries high recommendations from a dear friend of mine and then toss in a little Wilde every so often.
In the meantime I'll chat online for a few minutes and then call C. Rabbit to see if she wants to hang out.
*sings*
People out to have some fun, A cobra on my left
Leopard on my right, yeah
As it is a weekend I was able to sleep in to my heart's delight this morning, especially given the beneficence that C. Rabbit showed in bringing my bedding materials back to me last night.
Upon waking I ate a little and then sat down at the computer to read and compose emails and to read for my intellectual stimulation. I was reading a document to help me in my preparation for becoming the antichrist. Just kidding, but the document is entitled "The Antichrist" in its english translation. The document was written by Nietzsche and this translation is by the great critic H.L. Mencken. He has some interesting thoughts which I agree with, some which I will ponder, and others which at this point in my life I find myself disagreeable towards. This is the way it should be with most works of art and literature and at each point in life we will find different value in them. That is what makes the great ones great.
One quote which I found pleasurable to my mind was in Nietzsche's criticism of Kant. He says, "What destroys a man more quickly than to work, think and feel without inner necessity, without any deep personal desire, without pleasure--as a mere automaton of duty?"
Friday, May 14, 2004
I had the marvelous opportunity of hanging out with Bunny McIntosh and Cabbage Rabbit last night. Poor C. Rabbit is moving to Utah for the summer as I understand and Bunny decided to tag along to get the hell out of GA for a couple of days. Both seemed a little shocked by the culture of Utah and quite frankly, I don't blame them. I'm sure C. Rabbit will provide us lots of pictures on her Buzznet within time so that the rest of you can see some of the horrors.
I met the two of them at the creamery, which is just barely on campus, but close to where I am staying and easier to find than my boss's house. We screwed around a little bit trying to find a place to eat and after Bunny having to tell off some losers who were hitting on her, we eventually found a place. The food was decent I thought. Not the best in the world and the olives weren't worth shit. C. Rabbit got shafted with shitty fish too.
We then went over to C. Rabbit's place, which it turns out is in Branbury...the place that recently lost its BYU approved housing status because of some unruly residents. ;) We hung out there and talked, listened to music, and watched some television episodes on C. Rabbit's computer while we were there. We also wreacked havoc in the parking lot by setting off fireworks and trying to blow our hands off with smoke bombs.
For various reasons, I stayed the night at C. Rabbit's apartment in an empty bedchamber across the hall from her room and Bunny and C. Rabbit shared a bed that was too hard for Bunny's sensitive back. In the morning after difficulties waking up, C. Rabbit kindly took me to my workplace. I'll get my bedding from her later.
It was my first time to have the opportunity to meet Bunny outside of our online communications. As I am sure many can attest, and I add my voice to those that can, Bunny is as amazing and adorable in person as online. I love her as much as ever.
I've known C. Rabbit offline for a number of years and it was fun to see her again. The interaction between C. Rabbit and Bunny is often humourous to watch but always a blast to be a part of.
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
Oh yeah, there's more. On the phone when I told that UGA would be about $400-$500 more per semester in tuition, she asked me if I was sure I wouldn't rather just stay at BYU. I told her, completely exasperated, "I can't!" She asked if it was because something wouldn't let me or just because I couldn't "bring [myself] to sign the endorsement." I was absolutely furious. I told her I can't because to sign it I would have to sell out. I don't think that my mom or most of the rest of my family (with the possible exception of my dad) really understand why I place integrity so high. Yes, I want to be rich, famous, and adored by the masses like most of you. Yes, I want to be successful and get to take the easy, efficient way where possible. I'm not denying that. BYU would provide that more quickly than UGA. That's true and that's enough for most of the maggots of society to choose BYU. Call it pride, call it a sense of self, call it whatever the fuck you want, but I place my integrity, my values, my freedom above all of that. I cannot come back to BYU because I cannot sign the endorsement. I cannot sign the endorsement because to do so would be completely contradictory to everything I now stand for and I would no longer be me. I am proud of who I am and who I am becoming. I am not about to break myself down on both knees to lick the feet of a master that I do not have to serve. For those in the know, I will go "work at the rock quarry" before I serve them any longer.
(For those not in the know, read Ayn Rand's Fountainhead)
I want to tear my fucking hair out. I just had a phone conversation with my mother. I don't think she understands at all the seriousness of my situation. First she told me that I should be paying my boss rent for the time I am staying with him. Then she told me I should help contribute money to help finance my portion of the family vacation. I tried to tell her that I do not have the money to pay rent with, that my boss giving me housing is the extra pay it requires to keep me here. I also told her that maybe I can contribute to the trip and maybe I can't. She was wondering why I don't know when all I'm doing is plopping money in the bank right now with minimal expenses. I tried to make her understand that although I'm not having to spend much right now, I still owe $1500 on a car, it is going to cost me over $200 to get home, I will have to pay the backinsurance on the car for this month, I will have to pay insurance on the car every month in the summer, and come fall I will have housing, tuition, books, etc. expenses somewhere. If it is UGA it will be more expensive than staying here would be. I expect little or no pell grant this year because of my having worked so much last year. If I am able to work at all in the summer it would only be temporary jobs. I have massive expenses coming up and once I leave here I will have minimal to no income until I can find a new job at a new school. Until I know what new school I will be at and what it is going to cost me to go there, and until I know how much money I will be left with when I go home from here, I cannot even pretend to do any kind of financial forecasting as to what things I can afford to spend money on during the summer. She thinks I should just spend the money anyway and let it accumulate debt for me and just call it an educational expense. I don't think she understands that I can't afford to have debt because (a) I'm barely scraping by as it is, (b) soon I will not have a steady income for an unknown amount of time, and (c) I will have bills that I will have to pay and I'm not going to have the credit to just throw away. Jesus Christ, why can't she just understand that I am at a very volatile time in my life where if I blow it I could fuck up a lot of things and that I'm walking a thin line that I can manage as long as she stays the hell out of it!
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
Got the new workstation set up today at work. It was replacing a Celeron 400MHz. This one is a dual Pentium 4 2.4GHz. Why oh why couldn't I have had this pretty machine to begin with. I'll only get to use this one for about 2.5 weeks or so. Oh well. I even get to use a flat panel monitor with it. Unfortunately, that whole KVM setup we did the other day now needs work again. This monitor is DVI not VGA so it can't plug into it and the mouse that this computer uses is USB. The KVM only has plugs for PS/2 and VGA. Oh well. I don't care. At least I can pump out lots more SETI@HOME units to further my lead in my team.
Okay, pictures from the Rock Canyon hike with my sister and of my "bed" from my misadventure are up on the buzznet. Today was usual and boring so I won't say more about it.
Sunday, May 09, 2004
Today my sister and I went hiking in rock canyon again and we climbed up one very steep area and we thought we were going to die. We also found a smoldering fire pit and as responsible citizens, we finished extinguishing the coals so as not to burn the valley down. I took a bunch of pictures but it'll be a little while before I put any of them up. (Have to reboot to windows to get the pictures and that doesn't happen often)
My night started off fine but it ended shitty. As I got on the bus I was told that beginning monday my bus pass will no longer be valid so I have to hope that BYU will let me get another one even though I'm not taking classes spring/summer. As far as they know (but are mistaken), I will be back in the fall so it seems like I should be eligible for another one. We'll see. So, I got to the dollar theatre and ended up watching three movies in a row. To get into the R-rated ones they card you at purchase and then again before you enter the theatre area that it is playing in. I watched Girl Next Door, Secret Window, and Taking Lives.They were all pretty decent movies. Between the second and third movies, I went to Gual Bertos to grab some food since they have authentic, but cheap mexican food and it was good but I had to hurry to finish in time to get into the movie. After the last movie I began my long walk back to my boss's house. I took a different route than last time. It didn't save me any time but I got a different view as I walked. Walking around town in the middle of the night is really kind of cool. Areas that are normally bustling with people are completely empty. I could walk around in the middle of roads that during the day I wouldn't even try to cross without a crosswalk and stoplight. Also, the way the shadows are cast in the dark is really neat. It's like a whole different world.
Then things took a turn for the worse. I got back to my boss's house at approximately 3:15AM and found that the door that I always leave unlocked at night when I leave was locked. I checked the rest of the doors as well. All were locked. So shit. I walked to campus to see if I could get into my old dorm building and all of the doors there were locked as well. I walked back to the main street between my boss's house and campus and then tried to call my sister at about 3:45AM, hoping that I could wake her up and crash on her living room floor or something. No answer. Damn. I couldn't think of any other buildings that I could try to get into that late at night so I walked back to the busstop, opened up the newspaper recycling bin and grabbed a stack of newspapers and started walking to the canyon. As I was walking I found a fairly big, flat piece of cardboard which I also took into my possession and kept walking. I got thirsty on the way and I tried to get a drink out of a grass sprinkler. Way too much pressure so that didn't work so well. When I got to the canyon I found a water fountain that didn't work but it was dribbling out water and apparently the drain was clogged so it was just full of water and slowly overflowing. I figured most of the impurities had probably already leaked out so I drank from that twice. I found a place near the entrance to the canyon where there were a number of trees and large bushes so I found an area hidden in them with flat ground so that I could set up. I laid out my cardboard and some of the newspaper as bedding and then I laid down on them, but some of the other newspaper on my like covers and put a rock or two on top to try to keep the newspapers on because they kept coming off. But I tried to sleep anyway. After about an hour of attempting to sleep, a few annoying insect bites, and still cold as crap, I gave up, got up and got my things, left my bedding there, and walked back to campus. I went to go to some vents in the ground that blow out hot air that are near a building in the middle of campus. On the way there I noticed that the student center opens at 6AM on Sundays. I was surprised but happy to see that so I went and sat on the vent for about 10 minutes and then walked back to the student center. I had to wait about 5 minutes for it to open but I found a snail and some hummingbirds. I didn't even know there were hummingbirds in Utah. Then, once the student center automatically unlocked its doors I entered and went straight for the memorial room which is a place that a lot of people use to study or nap in but it was locked. I tried two different couches and ended up preferring the second one upstairs even though it was less secluded and I went to sleep on it. I woke up often as people passed by but I still managed to get around an hour to an hour and a half of sleep on there. At 8AM I got up and hoped that someone at my boss's house would be awake since I knew my boss does church stuff all day on sundays. The front door was still locked but luckily the side door was unlocked and so I entered it, went straight downstairs, and went to sleep until approximately 2:30PM. That was my shitty night.
Saturday, May 08, 2004
Just sitting here listening to random music by The Doors and The Who to see which, if either, or both of the groups I like enough to hear more by. That's been a theme of mine lately. I listen to a variety of old or classic bands to see which I like and keep the ones I do and dump the ones I don't. That's how I've found AC/DC and Pink Floyd, both of which I like a lot now.
Also am talking to Veit Kühne on MSN messenger. He's someone I met through Orkut because of his involvement in the Hospitality Club. If I ever make it to Dresden, like I'd like to, I'll meet him. Like I told him, given the choice, I'd be in Europe tomorrow, but unfortunately real life doesn't work quite that easily.
Also realized that I've got a free moment or two before I run off again and I promised mention of the dream so I'll go ahead and put that down. Standard Michael dream disclaimer: I have no idea where the fuck these things come from and what, if anything, they mean.
The dream begins with a son going to see his father in another town, a coastal city. The son finds his father walking on a cobblestone street near some old buildings that look European and there are large, green mountains nearby. The buildings including the old church house look quite antique. The father tells the son that now that he is dead, the words of the dead carry him up. He takes his son's hand and a parachute attached to him by ropes pulls him and the son up with incomprehensible but distinguishable voices whispering around them. They fly up who knows how high. The son asks the father how they are going to land as they plummet back towards the earth. Somehow the parachute disappeared and all they had were the ropes attached. The father sees a land mass with sea beside it and tells his son that he just always shoots for the sea. The son says that he could die if he misses and the father shrugs it off and says "What else is there?" They manage to plunge safely into the sea and climb out onto a dock. The father pulls a few random items out of his pocket including a couple of different coloured strands of fraying fabric and puts them in the son's hand. The father also tells the son he shouldn't smoke so much pot. Then the father tells the son that the minister is preaching from Ecclesiastes again and it begins to lift him up again tugging only on the ropes. The son watches his father float away but sees the translucent bag his father often used and he puts it in his head and when he looks at the fabric they look clear almost like a nearly invisible fiber optic. A homeless man walks by him, bumps into him, and whispers something in his ear, and then drops a stingray on the dock beside him. The boy puts a stake through its head. The dream flashes forward to his arrival home, apparently at a different time and place, perhaps a different dimension from the flight. When he walks in he sees his father on one side of the room and his mother on the floor being whipped by a crazed sadist. The sadist is wearing only some sort of pants or skirt on his lower body but he lacks a shirt and his head is shaved bald. Into his skin in a grid pattern covers his body, including his face with the lines every few inches both horizontally and vertically. The lines look like recent wounds, perhaps from another whip. The whip is large and very thick and he is whipping the son's mother with it and for some reason neither the father nor the son do anything to stop him but simply watch until she is dead. The sadist tells him as he leaves that it is like the ray and he leaves another stingray on the chair cushion. The boy in disgust takes another cushion and smothers it to death. The father, seeing the relation, asks him why he did it.
Then I woke up.
Thought I'd throw up a couple more pictures before I get to bed. One of these days I'll learn how to take decent pictures or get a better camera with a shorter exposure time to make up for my inadequacies as a photographer. In the mean time, ya get what ya get.
Tonight I spent listening to Rolling Stones and switching the server for Bunny and me. I reorganized the backend for her upload and file management system because I found some problems when I moved it and felt like adding some features. Updating my links to the new location wasn't so bad since I only use the images in the template. Bunny had lots of links though so I spent quite a while working on them but I think I got them all switched. The old server is set to properly redirect any of the links to files on the old server to their new locations on the new server but once I go home for summer that server will be shut down. So I hope I didn't miss any links.
Also, had a very, very strange dream last night but given that it is nearly 3AM I'll post about it tomorrow.
Friday, May 07, 2004
Normally when I take these quizzes I just post my results in the comments box of the person's blog that I found them on, but this one that I found on Shaun's blog was too interesting and so I'm posting my results here without the stupid layout it provides.
I am the Dandy
Most of us feel trapped within the limited roles that the world expects us to play. We are instantly attracted to those who are more fluid that we are - those who create their own persona. Dandies excite us because they cannot be categorized, and hint at a freedom we want for ourselves. They play with masculinity and femininity; they fashion their own physical image, which is always startling. Use the power of the Dandy to create an ambiguous, alluring presence that stirs repressed desires.
Symbol: The Orchid. Its shape and colour oddly suggest both sexes, its odour is sweet and decadent - it is a tropical flower of evil. Delicate and highly cultivated, it is prized for its rarity; it is unlike any other flower.
What Type of Seducer are You? created by 
polite_society
Random thought:
If you could gamble, and you had a 50/50 chance of winning, and if you lost you would lose 5 seconds from the end of your life, and if you won, you would gain 5 seconds onto the end of your life, how many times would you play? It's just seconds you could potentially lose so it can't be worth that much....or can it? What about the memorable last words you will want to say? What if the seconds you lose make you unable to say them? What if the small number of seconds you gain is the only thing that makes it so that you can say them?
How many times would you play?
Thursday, May 06, 2004
God/Uncle has started a journal. He's using shitty LiveJournal instead of excellent Blogger as his medium but that's okay. We'll forgive him openly but secretly curse his name. God/Uncle is Keirku's boyfriend for those who do not know.
My boss has lost his fucking mind. He just told me he wants to get me a new workstation to replace this one that I have. I told him that it all works just fine and that I don't need a faster machine. Doesn't he realize that if I'm leaving and not coming back it would be better to keep it as is so I can do my work instead of having to spend a bunch of time reconfiguring things the way I like it and getting it back to a state that I can work with it? He told me he wants to do it so that he will know how to install linux. Christ, we should just do that on a test box.
On the bright side, we are finally moving all the servers together like I have been pushing for for months and adding a KVM by my workstation so that I can directly control all of the machines. Would have been nice to have had that setup a long time ago.... oh well. The next person to have my job will have a nice setup to work with thanks to my efforts.
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
Well, I tried to take some pictures today, but they didn't turn out so well. In the ones that I did get the camera pointed the right direction in, I look like I'm mad. It's hard to point it the right direction to take a picture of yourself in the mirror and hope your camera is pointed at the right place when you can't look in the viewer. Then, in the ones that I did like my pose and camera position in, the images look crappy because the flourescent light was too dim. In yet others, the toilet is prominently visible in the background (the mirror is in the bathroom) and so they looked stupid. I've got to find a place with better lighting to try again.
Okay, changed my mind. I found a program that was able to fix the lighting problems fairly easily. A little tweaking, cropping, etc. and two of them turned out okay and are now posted. Could have been better, but fuck it.
Monday, May 03, 2004
Vespere says "Yeah but you know people are going to want pictures of you." What is the desire of the masses? Raise your voices in my simple little comment box and you will be heard by....me.
Hear me now, oh world of Blogger, I have moved up a step in your ranks. I have convinced Vespere to blog. Read it! Oh, and Shaun, if you ever even read mine, his will probably be another one of those open and close ones for you.
Now to work on getting one of those Buzznet things everyone likes so much....
Mormons and Sex. We all know they have a lot of it. In fact, they are almost commanded to. Well, unless you consider sex to be more than just the art of baby production. All of my readers who have ever been mormon I am sure have heard of the letter that was put out condemning oral sex and then temple attendance dropped remarkably until they withdrew that part. ;)
But seriously, what I want to show is the basic mindset of mormons along with some of their attitudes about sex. My friend pointed out to me a mormon blog about various topics and specifically an old post they had about sex. The post can be found here. I would encourage my readers look at it. The original post seemed actually to be fair and almost critical of the church at the end. The comments however, dear gods...especially when you get to this one. After reading that one and the next one which was a continuation of the first one, I had to stop. To all of my mormon readers, you probably don't understand why that comment is so gross and unsettling. All of my non-mormon or exmormon readers probably know exactly what I'm talking about though. It is mindsets like the one the author of that comment has that make me want the hell out of BYU.
Given, not all mormons are that bad, and not all students at BYU are, but that seems to be considered good or even ideal in many, many circles around here. And I abhor it.
Sunday, May 02, 2004
Today I didn't get out of bed until 2PM. It was wonderful. I wasn't asleep the whole time but during the time that I was I had a menagerie of different, completely random dreams. When I finally dragged myself out of bed I ate a little food downstairs and then went upstairs for water and saw taco materials and couldn't help but eat some more. I grabbed a glass of orange juice while I was at it. Just as I was preparing to get my glass of hot water to prepare tea downstairs my boss and his family arrived home from church. Damn.
A little bit later my boss brought down a book for me called "True to the Faith" subtitled "A Gospel Reference" to give to me. He said they were being handed out to the youth at church and he thought it would be helpful to me. I don't plan to read it.
I walked over to the sink and saw my bowl I had used for cereal last night sitting there. I had put water in it to soak so that I wouldn't have to fully clean it last night. When I looked at the water it was cool because resting in the debris floating on the surface was very clearly, the shape of the spoon I had put into the water last night. The shape was still preserved and I thought that was neat.
Saturday, May 01, 2004
Whoops, didn't mean to leave IM on while I was gone. Sorry all.
It's late as fuck so I'll *attempt* to keep this brief.
My intention was to go shopping and then to the dollar movie theatre. Turns out I got the bus schedule wrong and so I ended up not having time to go shopping. I did stop by Blockbuster to try to turn in two DVD's that I accidentally ordered duplicates of last summer. I wanted to use them to get discounts on new movies. Of the new movies I could choose from, Kill Bill Vol. 1 was the only one I was interested in but it was already sold out and there won't be more until Tuesday. On Tuesday they will also add Last Samurai to the list and so even though I haven't seen it, I've heard it was good so I'll pick it as my other one.
So I went to the movie theatre. I wanted to see Secret Window first but it was sold out and so I looked to see what else was playing around the same time and ended up seeing Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights. After a brief waiting period between films, I entered the dollar theatre a second time and watched Eurotrip. When I bought my tickets and was carded the cashier was happy to see I was from Georgia and in a series of questions I eventually told her Peachtree City. She was happy and told me she's from Newnan. The movies were okay. The first was kind of a chickflick but that's okay. The second had a lot of dick, which is not okay, and some flippy transitions that I didn't care for, but overall it was good for a couple laughs, a hot girl, and a temptation to go to Slovakia and drink of the green fairy.
Then I was confronted with the task of walking home at 2 in the god damn morning. It was dark (duh) and the lights in the parking lot made a lot of light pollution so I couldn't see the mountains for orientation. Finally, the mormons did something good in my life. I managed to locate the temple with all its bright lights and so for the first bit of my walk that was my landmark until I couldn't see it through the trees anymore. I then headed south and eventually found the stadium at the northeast end of campus and was able to follow that the rest of the way. On the way back, I was walking by one area and it smelled like animals so I looked in and saw a bunch of large animals on the ground and assumed it was BYU's agriculture area and that they were cows....until one stood up and started poking its neck around. It was a fucking group of llama! Not what I expected to see in the middle of the night in the middle of Provo, UT.
So I eventually find my way back to my boss's house almost an hour after leaving the dollar theatre wondering the whole time what I am going to do if the door is locked and where I will sleep. I walk to the side door that I walked out of earlier and nervously reach for the doorknob. Luckily it turns and I enter. I intended to go straight to bed and did I? Nope, I'm here writing a fucking blog entry. I'm going the fuck to bed. Peace out.