A halo opposite the sun

And though I stare into the sun and my eyes become blinded and closed, still I see the light.

Sunday, July 24, 2005

I've just learned two interesting health related facts that relate to me that I thought I'd share:

I was a little bummed about the whole gender thing, before reading about testosterone increases with masturbation, thinking that perhaps the whole thing had been merely a phase which I'm growing out of. I also didn't like how I was feeling, however, that could just be indicative of me not wanting to return to the norm instead of some true transgender feeling. I do have to wonder a little bit if perhaps my switch to soy milk (soy isoflavones have phytoestrogenic properties) sometime in the last year or two of my BYU career may not have pushed my hormone levels just enough to trigger an interest in this topic which I then intellectually took hold of and followed out.
Truly the best thing to do at this point would be to eliminate phytoestrogenic and antiandrogenic compounds from my diet for a few months to return to whatever my unaltered hormonal state would be and give enough time for me to mentally re-adjust to it and see if I am comfortable in that state. The problem with that, however, is that even as a male, I don't want most of the effects that increased testosterone causes. I guess in some sense it really comes down to a choice of preferable physical-troubled psychological vs. troubled physical vs. comfortable psychological.

Anthelion 2:44 PM