Friday, October 26, 2007
My mother has, outwardly at least, a very collectivist approach to how the household should be run. In her eyes, our lives are all a team enterprise and we should work to further the work of the team. We should consecrate our possessions to that end and we should not complain when asked to help with group enterprises. In reality of course, she often pursues her own personal goals and then demands the support of the "team" in furthering those goals while neglecting the desires and goals of the rest of us. In the time I've been here, I've repeatedly had my computer, my car, as well as other minor possessions taken out of my control to be used by others. My mother often makes policy decisions which specifically create the need to use my resources simply because it makes things easier for her. She then demands the use because she "needs" them while had she planned differently she would have still been able to accomplish her goals without my things; after all, this household ran fine without me. Another example is that whenever my family goes on trips, my mother always packs more than is necessary and declares some of the stuff to be group items. Anyone who has any room in their bag is then expected to carry it. Most of the time I attempt to take as little as possible and pack efficiently so that I will have a lighter load, however, no matter how much I lighten my burden, there is always group items to fill the space. On the most recent trip we were on, my mother overstuffed my bag with group items to the point that the bag actually broke open. A similar ploy is at work with regards to my car in the move. I've been labouring diligently to reduce the amount of things I have so that I don't have to stuff my car again so that I will be more comfortable during the move and cause less damage, but of course now my mother is making all sorts of requests for me to haul family items in my car. I don't think she realizes, despite my repeatedly telling her, how demoralizing this attitude is. Why should I bother trying to be efficient and trying to lighten my load if she will simply fill the gap I create? If I'm going to have to carry that much anyway, why shouldn't I just pack more of my own things to add luxury to myself so that there is no room to carry group items? Why should I try hard and use my own resources to have a nice car/computer/phone and keep them operating well if my family members will forcibly make more use of them than I can while they contribute nothing. Of course, you may suggest that I simply "be a man" or "stand up for [myself]", but the problem is that I am dependent upon my family right now and so any attempt to prevent them from invading my space and my property goes in vain since they believe I "owe" them.
Now, you may think from my strong thoughts on personal property, privacy, and boundaries from this and other posts, that there must be some serious conflict between these thoughts and my stated political belief of Socialism. I, however, do not perceive there to be a conflict. My view of government is definitely based on the idea of the Social contract. The ideal government to me is one that operates as a framework to aid people in the pursuit of happiness. In any social contract, the idea is that the people give up some rights in order to establish order and to take advantage of social institutions. My belief, however, is that the choices it takes away are, for the most part, not ones that anyone should desire to have. Take healthcare for an example. Few people would argue against the need for health insurance. Health insurance, like any insurance, basically distributes the costs of expensive medical treatments across the subscription base in order to make them affordable to any subscriber. The private healthcare system that we have today offers the choice of many different insurance providers and many different options of coverage plans. This is a choice which entangles rather than empowers. A socialized, single-payer healthcare system that provides universal healthcare is the only solution. When you get injured or are sick, your only concerns should be who to go to for the best care so that you can get back to your own life, to be productive, and to seek to fulfill your own goals. This is my idea of Socialism: the government should operate as a nearly invisible framework that provides a safe and stable foundation for people to pursue their own individual interests whatever those may be. I used to have libertarian leanings, but through many life experiences, I've realized that when it comes to things like healthcare, these are services I will have to have anyway so why should I waste my time and effort in a libertarian society to procure all of these services when my time and effort could instead go to my own personal pursuits? As long as the government agencies were required to operate transparently, with civilian watchdogs to keep them running efficiently, and with proper structure in place to avoid the corporatist state we have today, I don't think government programs are the bogeyman that critics make them out to be.
Monday, October 08, 2007
I was at my little sister's volleyball game last week and as I was watching her I thought about when I was young and got to participate in all sorts of varied activities and how now as an adult I do not. It made me wonder how many people have children with the primary goal that they be able to vicariously relive their own childhood.
Also, I've noticed something irritating lately. Prior to my parents' divorce many years ago, it got to the point that my siblings and I all avoided my dad because every time we saw him we'd get in trouble for something or other. Now, I'm starting to feel that I'm intentionally avoiding my mom because every time I see her she is assigning me some chore around the house or criticizing something. She was in my room using my computer yesterday and simply felt compelled to announce that she doesn't like my music. She couldn't understand another day why I was unwilling to let people use my desktop computer. I made clear that I was already letting people use my laptop more than I wished and that my desktop computer is my last item I have which I still have complete control over. She just stated that I haven't learned to share. My (unstated) response: she hasn't learned boundaries. Due to my avoidance, I often find myself secluded up in my room and a lot of times I get the feeling of being psychically imprisoned in it. Today as I was looking at my closet which now holds most of the belongings I have here, I almost got the feeling that I would continue to be compressed and then get stuck with all of my things in my closet prior to imploding.